Dealing with rejection.

I was unsure about writing this blog today as I am taking a few days holiday. However I started to write and then it suddenly disappeared as I touched some key or other on my laptop. So I will start again and see where we go.

Rejection is the act of refusing to accept, use, or believe someone or something. This can be as simple as a teacher not liking your answers but there are many examples of rejection n our lives as we grow older such as not getting a job we wanted or not finding the right kind of friends.

Although there has been plenty of rejection in my own life, the word ‘rejection’ is not one I had used until recently. Last week I was ‘working’ on dealing with unhappy events in my life when the word rejection suddenly appeared in my mind. Was that what it was? How had I dealt with it? Looking back I can see that although I felt very hurt by the acts of rejection, I carried on as normal and got on with my life. About ten years ago I did have a healing session with someone who dealt with such things but again the word rejection had not been used.

With some types of rejecting such as job rejections and assignment rejections it is easier to think what was wanted and then try to fulfil that for the next time. But there are other things to think about. I came a cross a meme the other day which I felt was important, the words on the meme being as follows; ‘Often when you think you are rejected you think that you are not good enough, but the truth is they were not ready for all you have to offer.’ I like these words, they resonate with me and I shall keep them in my mind when rejection occurs in the future.

I have to go now but hope some of you will comment and tell me how you deal with rejection in its many forms.

ducks

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Loving and forgiving

I don’t usually write about books I have read but a few days ago a friend lent me a book to read, one I would not have chosen myself if I had seen it on a bookshelf in a bookstore. It was a story of a man meeting God and it was a very interesting book. A lot of the concepts in the book resonated strongly with my own beliefs.

One of these concepts was love and loving. There are many kinds of love as we all know. There is the love of parents for their children and vice versa, there is the love we have for our friends and for our pets. Love is not just about sex as the media would have us believe but love is far more wide ranging. Together with loving there has to be respect for each others and compassion for those who are in pain or hurt or need help of some kind.

This brings me to forgiving. If we don’t forgive someone for any hurt they have done to us then we can become extremely resentful and angry. This in turn can make us physically ill. Some scientists believe that anger and resentment can turn into life threatening diseases if we keep the anger inside ourselves for too long. So many times I have heard the words ‘I can’t forgive him or her’. Forgiving doesn’t mean you forget the hurt but it does allow you to move on from the hurt and live a better life. We all have things to forgive. Often our parents or friends did things we did not like and which hurt us. Angry words, violence and other forms of abuse all hurt but it is no good hanging on to the hurts as it makes us ill.

Love is one of the most important things in life. We are all human and I feel that we all have a bit of the Divine inside us connecting us together. We humans are like the pieces of a gigantic jigsaw puzzle, all of us different but fitting together to make a whole. If we all loved each other and forgave any hurts then what a wonderful world it would be.

The book I was lent was ‘The Shack’ by Wm Paul Young. Thank you to my friend Vivian for the loan. Below is a painting I did many years ago with the title ‘Sanctuary’.

sanctuarypic2

Changes

It has been a roller coaster of a week. But what can you expect. There was a Blue Blood Supermoon on Wednesday with all the things that a full moon brings into your life. And it is Imbolc, or Candlemas or Brighid’s Day whatever you prefer to call it.

But there are definitely signs of spring around. Hazel catkins, snowdrops, pussy willows and lots of other spring bulbs pushing through the earth as well as loads of buds getting fatter each day. The birds are singing well too.

It is also that time of the year when I start to spring clean and give away any unwanted items. It also clears away any old energies especially negative ones that clutter the air around me. This is even better this year as I hope to move to a nicer place quite soon and that was a part of the roller coaster ride this week, looking at a possible new home. I had time to sit on a train looking at the landscape around me. The day I travelled out was a cold wintry day. The fields were covered in a heavy white frost and had a beauty of their own. It looked as if some of the water on the marshes was frozen but the ducks and other birds were still there. Coming back the sun shone until I got back here when there was a flurry of snow and hail showers. The changing weather never ceases to amaze me. One day the sun can be shining very warmly while the next day or even a few hours later it can be snowing!

But change is what life is about. If there were no changes we would get bored and live a tedious life. Change is what makes other things happen, sometimes for the better and other times not so but change is a part of life. Changing the world is different. To change the world we need to change ourselves first to what we want the world to be. Its no good complaining about litter if you leave litter yourself. So change is important. The earth shows us this as we see the snowdrops appearing in the ground. They have changed during the winter months from a little round bulb into something beautiful when they appear above the ground. How wonderful is this?

spring

Conforming and pleasing others

I’ve never been one to conform much to my parents despair. I was the tomboy and hated it when I had to stay clean and wear my best clothes. Once I had a bike then I got worse. I loved to spend time repairing it and oiling the chain. Then jeans arrived on the clothes scene. By then I was about seventeen and working. But my bike then had a crossbar as I was an ardent cyclist and rode with a cycling club at the weekends. I used my bike to get everywhere as well. You couldn’t buy jeans for ladies so I had a pair of men’s jeans. If I was out on my bike and saw my mother she turned away from me as if she did not know me.

Once I was teaching in schools I had to wear skirts and dresses as trousers for women were not allowed. I used to change into a skirt in the staff toilets as I used my bike to get to work. Then things changed so I was fine. But even now I see places of employment where uniforms are part of the job and in some cases this can be important. School uniforms of course were there when I was young and I had to conform in many ways but now the younger ones seem to wear the same kind of clothes when out of school so that it becomes a different kind of uniform. Do they all really want to look the same?

Now I am old I wear what I want when I want and have my hair in a style I like. I am growing it at the moment so it can look a bit wild but so what, can I not be who I am at my age! This brings me to the thing about pleasing others. Should we wear what others think we should wear just to please them? I am sure that we have all come across the scenario when a loved one asks us to wear something they like but that we don’t, because if we loved them we would do that little thing for them.  For many years now I have had the strength to say to others that if they don’t like what I wear, how I have my hair done or what I do, then tough, that is their problem not mine. It is important to be true to yourself and it is who you are and what you do and say that is important not what you wear.

If I want to dress up for an occasion then I will do so but what I wear then maybe not what you think I should wear but it is my choice and I am being true to myself. I love to wear tie dyed stuff and velvet and can look a bit wild but that is the gypsy in my soul and she won’t be sat on and made to conform. Do you conform or do you stay true to yourself?

The photo is an old one. I am at the back on my bike. I was about seventeen or eighteen then.

cycling

 

 

The winter darkness

It has been another week of dark grey days with lots of rain and occasional flakes of snow. But it is the dark grey days that I do not like. I need light and warmth in my life in order to function. I started well at the beginning of the week as I was writing a new book then suddenly on Wednesday everything came to a stop. I was feeling depressed again and I am sure it is the dark grey days.

I used my SAD lamp for a short time and it did lift my spirits enough to do a bit more writing. But I shall be really glad when the weather improves. If the sun comes out I immediately feel better as I am sure we all do. Yet the landscape in winter has a beauty all its own. I love the bare trees with their gnarled branches standing out against the sky. I love to watch the birds on the feeder in the garden and see the hazel catkins swaying in the breeze.

We have been lucky where I live unlike many of my friends further north who have had large amounts of snow. Yet I think I would have preferred to see the snow rather than the grey dark rainy days we have had. The snow brings light to the landscape unlike the rain which just seems to wash it out into a greyish mass.

Soon it will be Imbolc, where we welcome Brigid. The snowdrops will be out then bringing their light and joy into our world. I am looking forward to this and to the lengthening days.

catkins

Circles and cycles

I was thinking about cycles especially. The words from the song ‘Windmills of Your Mind’ were going round in my head which led to my thinking of cycles. We all know about the cycles of the seasons, the cycles of our lives and so on. But how many other cycles do we know of?

When I visited the local pond on Monday it was completely frozen over. When I went two days later, the weather was warmer, the sun was shining and the reflections in the water of the pond were extremely clear. Another kind of cycle. Water to ice and then back to water.

If we look around us we can see so many small cycles going on. The weekly cycle of days, the daily cycle of hours, day turning to night then turning to day and so on. One of the cycles in my life is a creative one. I am in the creative part now, busy writing a new book, but then there will be days when I rest and let my mind do other things before returning to the writing.

One thing I noticed is that circles are never ending but cycles can end. It depends how you look at them. Take our lives for example. We are born, become children, then teenagers, then young adults and then grown ups. Eventually we die and that is the end of our cycle unless you believe in reincarnation when your cycle of life begins again elsewhere.

For me the cycles within nature are the ones I love. I see the seeds falling on the ground then hibernating until the warmer weather comes. Then small shoots appear, then leaves and flowers and when the flowers die we get the seed pods which open and let the seeds fall to the ground and the whole cycle repeats. I love to watch this happening. At the moment the willows have their little furry buds and the hazel is showing off its catkins. Another cycle is ongoing.

How many cycles do you see going on at the same time? I can think of lots more but will leave it to you to think about.

10jan1

A new year and new ideas

It is seven months since I moved into my current home. Yesterday I decided to move the piano so I could get to the shelves behind it and sort out the boxes and folders. The piano is portable but it is heavy so I took it off its stand and put it in the bedroom propped up against the wardrobe door. I then looked at the shelves and sorted boxes and books so I could get at the ones I need most when the piano is back in place. This was a good thing to do. I found some writings from 1995 which could become part of a new book.

This led to looking elsewhere for other old pieces of writing and more were found. None of these will be on the computer of course as they were written so long ago in the days of Windows 3.1! So this led to another search. I have changed computers recently but have all my data files on CDs or on an external disk drive. I started with the CDs and have found even more bits of writing. I wished I had found these when I wrote my last book but hey ho I have stuff for another book now.

Lots of people keep telling me to get rid of stuff, mainly books and folders but I am glad I didn’t listen to them or I would not have found these little gems of writing.

On another note, it is a beautiful sunny morning here but it is cold. My mind tells me to take a walk but my body refuses as it aches after all the lifting and moving. So time for reflection instead and plans for a new book and maybe some card readings as well to set me on my way.

Are you a keeper or do you get rid of things that you think you no longer need? Do you back up your computer files?

The photo was taken the other day when the wind was making lots of ripples on the pond.

pond ripples