There are many times in our lives when we upset other people. We may have been arguing about something and then words are said in the heat of the moment that cannot be taken back.How many times has that happened to you and what do you do next? How do you move on from this? There are many other times when we have to move on from events and when things go wrong. When your children grow up and leave home, you have to let them go and lead their own lives and you move on to doing other things with the time you now have spare. Even if you don’t see them or hear from them often, you always remember them and love them whatever way they have left, whether it is the normal way of growing up or after harsh words have been said.
We are often told to forgive and forget. I find it easy to forgive but much harder to forget and then of course it is harder to move on. I remember when I was younger and I fell out with my mother. We did not speak for several months until I needed help and then my father intervened saying life was too short to harbour grudges and then we had to move on. My mother and I made our peace but we never really forgot the reasons as to what had happened.
There are also times when you don’t know what was said or done but friends and family ignore you and lose contact. That is much harder as you do not know what caused the rift. But you do have to move on and trust that at some point all will be well in the lives of all concerned. I have found that generally after some reflection, I can move on. But then at certain times of the year, the loss of family and friends comes to the fore and you want to make amends and get together again. But it takes two to do this. I have a friend who has helped a family to come together after several years of no contact but it has happened now because the mother is very ill and my friend asked her if it was OK to contact her daughters and tell them about their mothers illness.But if we are meant to make contact again then it should not be when one or the other is at that stage in their life, although that is better than never having any contact again.
So moving on is important. You have your own life to live and you can’t spend it wondering what might have been. That is not good for anybody. So try to make peace if you can, but if not then move on and look after yourself and those still around you. Make the most of your life and enjoy it. If and when the time to make peace with those you have hurt, then do so and hug each other. A hug works wonders!
The title is a well known saying and relates to the early ways of harvesting before machinery came along. But sorting out the wheat from the chaff relates to our modern life in many ways. We need to decide which things are good to buy or necessary. When we look at items to buy, do we choose the cheapest or do we look carefully and choose those with the best quality. Cheaper items often do not last long, they break or wear out quickly so really they are not a good buy. The same thoughts about what is good for us can relate to friendship as well. Friends who are always putting you down or insulting you are not good friends and you don’t need them. Again choose wisely and sort the good ones from the bad ones.
I think the phrase can be used when we look at the news, videos, broadcasts, newspapers, etc. We need to sift out the true news and leave the fake news behind. This is also good to do when people tell you stories about their lives and their neighbours. Is it true or fake?
But most of all the saying applies when you are on a spiritual path. There are a lot of people out there who only want to make money and will tell you that their way is better than any others. You need to look carefully at what each person offers, decide who is genuine and take that route. When the Reiki healing system came out, there were many who jumped into this and saw it as a way of making lots of money. ‘Have your attunements in Stonehenge as they will be much better than those done anywhere else’, I read in one advertisement some years ago. The price for this was beyond the reach of most people but there would be some who would pay. There were so many alterations to the system that it no longer was Reiki. So when looking for a guru or someone to guide you along your path, sort out the good ones.
Separating the wheat from the chaff is also about discernment. Take care and find the good ways and the good things to purchase.
During and after the war, everyone worked together to make sure that each person had what they needed. If someone was ill, then others would help with cooking and shopping. Children were cared for too when a parent was ill. Somewhere along the way this ‘helping each other’ seems to have disappeared. Yes, there are some who will always help someone less fortunate but there are many who turn their eyes away.
I have seen this happen recently when a lady collapsed in the bus queue. Many just stood there and did nothing while some of us tried to help. One lady phoned for an ambulance and we made the lady as comfortable as we could while we waited. But helping each other is something that should and can happen all the time. There are so many people nowadays who are vulnerable, the disabled, those out of work and the homeless as well as the elderly or those with some kind of mobility or mental problem. It says a lot about us as a society when there are lots of homeless people sleeping on the streets and the use of food banks is growing.
We need to look at the reasons for these things. It is easy to become homeless if you become ill or are made redundant from your job. If you can’t pay your rent or mortgage then you can lose your home. If no-one helps you then you can end up homeless and sleeping on the street. But what about helping others by offering to shop or cook for them? Even holding a door open for a woman with a pushchair or an elderly person is helping someone. Helping each other can be simple. Sharing food and transport is another way of helping. I am sure you can think of many ways in which we can help each other.
At this time of the year when we remember all those who died in the war, then let us think back to the ways we had of helping others then and try to do this again. It doesn’t cost anything, only perhaps your time. Remember that actions speak louder than words.
Our current world is chaotic and it can be very hard to find your way through this chaos to find out where you are going. There can be many twists and turns on a spiritual path as you try one thing then another in an effort to find out which bits are for you. I started my spiritual path through Native American ways following the Medicine Wheel and I loved it. I also worked with a Native American teacher and learned to drum and enjoy ceremonies. But then I found druidry and so my path changed.
Even then, there were many little journeys to other interests, tarot, crystals, Reiki and many others. But I kept my core beliefs as a mixture of Native American and druid. But this has taken over twenty years to get where I am. So don’t expect to find the path easy. There can be times when you feel overwhelmed by the world around you, the everyday chores of living and you can then get depressed and forget your spiritual beliefs for a time. But when you return you can be renewed in spirit and move further along your way. There can be times when you doubt it all but once you get over the doubt you may find you are stronger and move along your path faster.
There are many who say that you cannot be true to more than one path but I disagree with that. You find your own way, what fits for you and what gives you joy as well. But how do you know what is right for you? I follow my intuition, my gut feeling if you like. It never lets me down unless I am very ill. I have a ‘system’ if you like about making decisions. If asked to go somewhere or give a talk or take someone out for a walk, then I know that if my immediate response is ‘yes’ then it is the right thing for me. If I dither and can’t make up my mind then generally it is not the right thing for me to do.
There is the other way too, does something or someone call to you? Do you want to do something very much or meet somewhere who you feel is important to you? Listen to these feelings, and act on them. Finding your way is not always easy and you can feel despair when things go wrong. Follow your intuition, your gut feelings and find your way safely. It’s OK to meander a bit like the streams and rivers.