I had not thought of a theme for today’s blog until last night when my neighbour held a long noisy party which lasted until at last 3.30 am. I live in a terraced house so we have small gardens/yards at the back. His small group of friends were either outside in the garden (must have been cold) or inside with loud music blaring. I suspect this is the usual Saturday evening for them so what do I do about the noise factor?
As a druid I believe in respect for others and toleration of others. But should I tolerate this or should I do something about it? I never see this neighbour in the week and there is a high fence between our gardens. When does toleration stop? When is it necessary to complain/discuss the situation and/or otherwise do something about it. The noise must impact on the neighbours on the other side and also those facing at the back.
Unfortunately I have not been here long enough to get to know any neighbours yet or it would be much easier to deal with. If it was a one-off party then fine but from the way the garden is laid out I suspect this is not so. There was noise last weekend but nothing like last night. So my dilemma is do I tolerate this or do something about it respecting that these people are young and possibly have no idea of the impact made.
Earlier this week I saw some words which resonated with me in a big way. The words were ‘The expectations of others were the bars I used for my own cage’ We all expect things of others but how much should this affect our lives. As a child my mother had great expectations of me. I was expected to do well at the things she missed out on like going to the grammar school then on to university, etc. Unfortunately I did not go to university straight after school as I was unable to take the A level the subjects I wanted to do. So I left school and got a job. For the rest of my life I had to endure my mother complaining that I had not done what I should have done with my life and that I had let her down.
Luckily for me I was strong enough to find my own way in life and do what I wished to do so my life was mine and I was not living the life she had wanted for herself. How much do others expectations affect our lives? Do we do what others want us to do to keep the peace? Or do we strike out on our own? How many people do you know who live their lives according to the wishes of others but are not happy? What is most important, to be ourselves or to be the person other people would like us to be? I have always tried to be true to myself, to follow my heart and to do what I feel is most important to me. This did and still does not go down with some people I know. I remember saying to my children when they were in their early teens that it was not a crime to be different. They did not have to do what everyone else did if they did not want to.
So here I am in my seventies, writing a blog and researching local and family history, creating wall hangings and other art work and being just who I want to be without interference from others. Is this wrong?
My house move went successfully and I am now almost unpacked and ready to resume my research and writing. Yesterday I walked down the street to the end and then took a path down a steep hill towards a retail park which was built on the site of the old coal mine. The hill is steep as it goes down into the valley. The other side is less steep but there are ups and downs until eventually the moorland appears. There is something about this distance and depth of view thing that has always given me great pleasure and joy. I have really missed this type of landscape over the years. Even when living in the mountains of Wales I did not get the same kind of feelings about the landscape.
So what is it about this depth of view and the distance between me and the horizon? This is where I was born and lived for the first 35 years of my life. Is it to do with my connection to this part of the world and the landscape I knew as a child? I feel so much at home and my heart filled with joy yesterday as I stood at the top of the path. I can pick out landmarks and note where things have changed but the distant moors are still there.
Walking to the other end of the street I come to what is known as the Marsh. It is now common land and cannot be built on although several roads cross it. It is marshy in places but there are more trees now and lots of spring flowers too. It is the open space which calls to me here despite the traffic on the roads. Again we have the distance thing, I can see quite a way across the Marsh and into the distance. Many years ago someone told me what this was all about but I have long forgotten. I just know that this is home and my heart beats better here and is filled with joy and thankfulness for being here.
The photo shows the view across the industrial landscape out to the moors.
Over the years I have made many decisions and had many choices. How do I know I have made the right decision? How do I decide which of the choices to follow? When I look back I can see choices I made that I thought were good ones but turned out to be not quite so good later. Were these wrong choices? No, I don’t think they were. At the time that choice was the right one. Life is not perfect and we have many lessons to learn during our lifetime on this planet. So often we choose to do something that gives us a big lesson to learn.
If we look at our life as a journey then we are going to have twists and turns along the way. We are going to have choices which lead us in a different direction than others expect of us but we must always make the choices we feel are right for us and not be influenced by others. Sometimes I ‘chew over’ in my mind, my options about things. Do I do this or do I do something else? Sometimes I make a list of the good reasons and then a list of the bad reasons for doing something. But generally I go by my gut instinct.
One of the things I learned about making decisions was something that took some time to fathom out. I used to get invites to events and I would dither about whether to go or not. Eventually I learnt that if I dithered about going then I should not go. If my immediate response to the invite was to say yes than that was right.
My most recent decisions have been about moving house. I have been wanting to move for some time now but could not decide where to go and then words said by someone else triggered a decision and once I had made that decision everything else fell into place. The house I found to live in was sorted out in 3 days which is unheard of in the house rental business so this was so obviously the right house in the right place and at the right time. It felt right too and once I saw the house and the area it was in, I felt I had come home.
So how do you decide what choices to make? How do you make decisions? Do you find it easy to do this? My photo today shows a fork in the path. How do you know which way to go? What calls you?