There seems to be a lot of ups and downs in my world at the moment. Some say that this is the energy from the recent eclipses affecting my life and causing lots of chaos and rethinking of things. Whatever, it has definitely been one of those weeks. Even though I had good photo shots when out, the euphoria from those did not seem to last long and I was often plunged down into the depths of depression within hours and then suddenly, I felt OK again.
It is said that eclipses stir up things and that those of us who are on a spiritual path feel this kind of energy more strongly and deeply. I know that my dreams have been quite vivid and only fragments remained in the morning. Last night I dreamed I was somewhere in France for example but there were buses and lots of people and a lovely town. I was also speaking in French too, and french is a language I do speak so nothing strange in that. Another dream involved a friend who died a few years ago.
Years ago I used to keep a dream diary so I could look back and try to interpret them. Maybe it is time to do this again. Keeping a notepad by the bed is good and a pen of course. I was told also not to move when you waken from a dream but to lie still and go over the dream until it was clear in your head, then you could move and write it down. I am a believer in dreams giving you messages and often foretelling future events and I have had one or two of those.
Another up is the publishing of my new book ‘ Me, myself and I – a spiritual journey’ and I hope it will be available soon on lulu, amazon and other sites. It is a very personal book so if you get round to buying it I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now I am looking for other projects and I do have two books half written from several years ago so maybe these will be my next projects. So the ups and downs continue and as usual I will just go with the flow!
Do you have ups and downs like mine and if so how do you deal with them?
What a beautiful morning it is. The sun is shining but there is a chill in the air. The dew on the grass is sparkling in the sunshine just like gems do. There is a stillness too; it is as if the plants and animals are waiting for something. There are huge fat rose hips and juicy blackberries on the bushes as well as loads of crabapples. It looks like a good harvest.
The mallards have returned to the pond joining the pair of moorhens who live amongst the lily pads. It was so peaceful this morning when I visited the pond area. My bathroom is finished and the stress has gone so I am more mobile and able to enjoy the beautiful landscape around me. I can see the leaves changing colour now, some gold and some turning brown. It will be interesting to see what it is like in the winter months.
My neighbour and I put up a birdfeeder on Friday so we are now waiting to see what kind of birds arrive. There are many different birds around here including predators as well. But I love the tiny wrens too which nest in the nearby hedges.
My new book is finished and I am waiting for a proof copy to check for any spelling errors I have missed previously then it will be available for everyone. I will put details on here when it is ready. So now I am looking for new projects but have found a couple of half written books from some years ago so will work on those first.
This week I have also replaced one of my very large chairs with a smaller one and then moved my computer desk which I no longer use and given the swivel chair away. It has made a lot more space for me to move around and I feel better for the larger space. Little things like moving furniture around can make such a difference.
I hope you enjoy the coming days as autumn returns to our land. Tell me what you like best about the changing seasons.
This week has been quite stressful as workmen have been in changing my bathroom to a wet room. The first day was the noisiest day so I went out on a trip to Trentham Gardens which I love. There were some amazing flowers to take photos of and the lake was beautiful. It was a good day to let go of stress. The rest of the week was less noisy but there were delays when materials had not been delivered so I tried to get out up to my local pond as often as I could but all the walking eventually brought on more pain.
One afternoon at the pond was really lovely. The sun was shining and there were dragonflies of various kinds flying around, some laying eggs. Another day I saw the heron but he flew away just as I arrived. Another day I watched young birds in a nearby garden. This morning I saw a wren, a blue tit, a coal tit and several starlings.
This is my way of dealing with stress and with the constant pain that I have. I find being in nature such a healing experience and I always want more even though my trips to the pond are limited by my mobility. I can see that a mobility scooter might be a good idea. I did have one once and it makes a lot of difference to where you can go but you do really need a good one for rougher ground.
My downstairs neighbour looks after the garden in front of our flats and we have discussed having a bird feeder out there hanging on one of the trees. I think this is something we need to get soon so we can feed the birds in the winter. There are many different kinds of birds in this area because of the pond area and the nearby nature reserve.. Watching the birds will also help when I get stressed.
How do you deal with stressful days? Do you get them often?
It has been another busy week with offers of things to do but the best things were the walks in the local countryside. I love being out in nature and love to see the wildlife as I go. Today was a wonderful stroll and a look at different small paths that led away from the main path. Even found a tree to hug as well.
But some of the offers of things to do this week I will have to think about. Writing my latest book has reawakened the ‘spirit’ of search if you like to call it that. I want to look at some of the topics I studied in the past and see how much they have changed. I feel the need to do more ‘spiritual’ work than I have been doing. It is as if I have been taking a break and doing lots of other work like family history and local history. Maybe the time is now right to work more on other things like healing, astrology and so on. I need to get back into a different routine but also enjoy the daily walks which really do fill me with so much pleasure. It is good to have company too especially if my companions think the same way as I do. That is a bonus!
This week is going to be chaotic as my bathroom is going to be turned into a wet room. Tomorrow is the start of the work so I will be going out on a trip to one of my favourite places, Trentham. Hopefully the trip there will help me to make more decisions about my way forward.
How do you make decisions? Do you act intuitively like I generally do? Or do you think long and hard about things first?
It has been an interesting week with some stress at the end but a lot of memories have surfaced. While writing my new book I have been looking through old diaries and journals and keep finding things even though the book is finished apart from a few additions. The additions are because of what I keep remembering!
Just talking to others who have known me for some time brings other things I had forgotten to my mind again. Launde Abbey was one such time I had forgotten and yet I spent many days there walking in the woods and grounds and exploring all kinds of inner work. The old journals jogged my memory about books I had read that I felt had influenced me in some way. This has led to me buying some of these books again so I can look back at how they did influence me if that makes sense. One of the books was the Celestine Prophecy. I know this is fiction but even now I can see lots of food for thought in those books. I remember going through the Experiential Guide to these books and I now have another copy. The work still resonates and I hope it will bring back more memories for me to write about.
It is strange how one memory jogs another one and so on but that is what has been happening. I found another journal for 2001 with not a lot in it but what was there was interesting and brought back other memories. How can I write about all of these? I don’t think I can or the book will never be completely finished Talking to a friend last night she did say there could always be book 2, a follow up to this book. That is something I will have to think about. Do I remember enough to make another book as well as this one?
If you read this blog and you have met me either in the physical plane or elsewhere and have memories you would like to share then please do so and contact me. I am finding that writing this book is a deep emotional experience at times but I will get it finished soon.
There are a lot of nasty clouds around at the moment some of them quite thundery so I hope they stay away while I write this blog post. For the first time for many years I went to a druid ceremony this afternoon. Those who know me well know that this time of the year can bring back lots of traumatic memories so I thought that going to a new grove would be good. I enjoyed the ceremony and also meeting new people who I am sure will become good friends. I hope to go to more of these ceremonies.
It has been a week of reflection also. It was suggested by some of my friends that I should write a book about my experiences of a spiritual nature. I thought about this for some time and after searching out old diaries and journals as well as photos and other writings I started on this. What memories are coming back. So much has happened over the last twenty years that I am sure a lot of it has been forgotten but it only needs one photo or diary entry for the memories to come flooding back. I have also asked others who have known me for some time or worked with me to see what they remember so they can jog my memory too. This brings me to the reflections. I find I am looking at some events in a totally different way now than I did many years ago. This also includes my reading material. Books I had long forgotten have resurfaced and are being read avidly again but with a much deeper perspective on what they contain.
I know I am the perpetual student forever wanting to learn more about things of an esoteric nature but I believe that you learn something new every day. That also applies to what I see out there on my walks and record on my camera. My black dog has gone for the moment and I am looking forward to the future. Thank you all for your wonderful comments and support. I think a photo of a butterfly is appropriate this week.
It is only in recent years that I have been visited by the black dog. I cannot remember it ever happening before about five years ago. I got very depressed at that time and wouldn’t go out or do anything. Counselling helped and I know how to deal with it. But recently it has happened more often and I am trying to find out why this is.
Up until about five or six years ago I was still very active and ran workshops and groups for various subjects. I have run a family history group for a very long time and that enabled me to meet others with similar interests. I also ran groups where we learned about colour, the tarot, numerology and other similar things.
Today I am much less mobile and have to use public transport to get anywhere and I do find this hard as buses never connect properly and you spend a lot of time waiting at bus stops. Every few months the bus companies change the timetables and this makes it even worse and also confusing. I do have projects on the go, for example, I am working with a group of other volunteers on a project with the local museum. I also have my own projects on family and local history to work on and possibly may start to run a family history group here where I live.
So plenty to do and a pond close by where I can walk every day at least once. But the black dog has been hanging around for some days now and visited me in a heavy manner the last few days. I do find it hard to live in confined spaces and I have heard others say they feel they are living in a cage and I suppose that is what it feels like at times. I like to feel space around me and lots of light and I have not had that anywhere I have lived in the last few years. That kind of home is hard to find. My mother used to tell me I should live in a field and I think maybe she was right!
But I am dealing with the black dog by making myself go out up to the pond and walk along the paths. I had company this morning, a local dog owner who has become a friend so that should make it easier now. If you get visits from the black dog, how do you deal with them?