How many times do you hear the words ‘Life’s not fair’? It isn’t though and there are many instances of injustice or lack of fairness. It is not just in our current times as it has gone on for centuries as I found when researching Victorian criminals. There was one rule for some and a different rule for others, generally chosen because they had a bit of education.
Injustice can be seen as an unjust act or occurrence or an unfair action or treatment of someone which violates their rights. People often say unfair things about people they call friends too. But how do you deal with it?
If you feel anger then deal with it and don’t feed your anger otherwise it can make you ill. If you can change an injustice then do so but there are many that you cannot change but that you have to live with. You can feel compassion for yourself and for those who are the victims of injustice but you need to prioritise what is most important. so choose to empower yourselves by separating the facts from your emotions.
In a world of fake news we have to be careful about our reactions to events and discern which are true before we can do something to try to make sure some of these injustices do not happen again.
In our current world, many injustices are coming to light for us to deal with and we are making progress with this If you want to fight injustice then choose one thing that you know you can change. Small changes lead to big changes and we can move towards a fairer world for us all but don’t expect things to change overnight It is a slow process.
Also remember that peace is important for us all so remain peaceful in whatever you do.
It is said that you should treat others in the way you want to be treated. This is easier said than done at times but many things are easy to do. You can say ‘Thank you’ when someone helps or advises you or holds the door open for you. You can do the same for others especially holding the door open. I struggle with doors as I use a crutch and often have a shopping basket on wheels so someone holding the door for me is very welcome but many times I have seen or even felt the door being left to swing back into me.
You can also help those who are vulnerable, maybe by helping someone to cross the road. I am sure you can think of many ways to do this. I like to think that I do these things and I try not to expect anything in return but a ‘Thank you’ would be nice to hear.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people around who do not do these things which I find really sad. I have often been told that I expect too much from my friends and others so now even though I find it easy to help others I find it difficult to ask for help and to accept it as well. I live on my own so often I need help around the house but I tend to try to do these things myself. When I have asked for help in the past I have watched the faces of those I asked and I can see whether they really are willing to help or are going to make excuses.
But expectations can go much deeper with those for whom you care deeply and love. If they do not offer help when needed you can feel deeply hurt but can you still care for them in the same way?
So what do I expect from my friends? I expect to share times of joy and laughter. I expect to share times of sadness and to be supported during bad times. I expect offers of help even though I haven’t asked for help and most of all I expect lots of hugs. What are your expectations?
This week as the weather has not been good for gardening, I have been catching up on my family history. Looking at the lives that some of my ancestors led makes me wonder how they survived. How much did the lives of my great grandparents influence the lives of my grandparents? And in turn how much did their lives influence those of my parents and in turn my life?
In my family history there are stories of time in the mental hospital because of depression and anxiety. There are those who resorted to drink to deal with the loss of small babies soon after birth. And there are those who turned to crime. How do you deal with the loss of several of your children when they are only babies? Today there are plenty of organisations to help you cope.
Today we take our health system for granted and we know there is always somewhere to go when ill or needing help if we want to do that. But years ago and not so many actually, there was no way of earning money if you were ill and there was no contraception. Some families had up to thirteen children, many of whom died young. How did they cope with that? What happened if the mother died? Some children were then adopted by relatives or sent away and some were even sent abroad.
How did this all affect our relatives, our grandparents for example? I know that one set of my grandparents did not have an easy life. My grandfather was very strict and there was no emotion allowed in their lives. There were no hugs or words of love and I know that this affected my mother at a deep level so that she was unable to show love either. This leads to a core wound of rejection, one that is hard to deal with.
If a grandparent or great grandparent was violent did that affect those that followed? You can see how the wounds from one generation can come into the next generation and unless those wounds are healed then they will continue in the coming generation as well.
I could write on but I hope have said enough for you to think about this and how your ancestors have affected your own life today. If you feel you have a core wound to heal then please find a way to do this so it doesn’t carry on in the future generations.
Empathy and sympathy are often thought to mean the same but they are different. The dictionary definition of sympathy is a feeling of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. It can also mean a common feeling or understanding between people. So there are many times in our lives when we have sympathy for others often when people have lost something or someone close to them.
But empathy is very different. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. You try to imagine yourself in their place so you can understand what they are feeling. Empaths are often told they are too sensitive and I have been told this many times in my life. An empath feels everything sometimes to an extreme. There are different kinds of empath too, some are sensitive to the earth, or plants, or animals more than people. Some empaths are sensitive to many of these. Empaths can also be sensitive to noise and smell and feel exhausted when around a lot of people together like in a shopping centre. It is easy for an empath to be overwhelmed by their feelings which are often the feelings they have gained from others.
It is OK to feel overwhelmed and to feel extremely sad but an empath has to learn to deal with all of this so that they don’t become ill or totally stressed out. Being an empath can be hard to live with as you take on the feelings of others so you can understand their sadness and their problems. I always knew I had that kind of insight into how others felt but it has only been in the last few years that I really understood that I was an empath. I find that those who need help are often drawn to approach me and this can be overwhelming when they all come at once! But I am learning to deal with this and learning to keep myself from being overwhelmed too often.
Are you an empath and if so how do you deal with it?
Yesterday brought the power of love to the front of the stage and anyone watching the royal wedding would see that and hear the powerful words in the address. Even the music gave that feeling of love to the ceremony.
But years ago there was a song about love is all we need and those words often resonate in my head for days. Each night when I send my distant healing I also send out love to all corners of the world. I know from personal experience that love can change lives especially those of children. We need to love ourselves as well and that can be hard to do for some people. No one is perfect and we have to love all the bits of ourselves whether they are good or bad and the same goes for the way we love others. We love them whatever and look for the good bits of them to help them .
Unconditional love can be hard but it is important. But we need to work on sending love out to others, to those who can change our lives like politicians. What would our world be like if we all loved each other and there was peace? There would be no hatred for others like there is now and that can only be a good thing. If you can’t love others as you do yourself then at least have respect for them. We cannot all agree on the same point of view but we can respect that point of view and look for things we can agree on. Some where in each person is a point where you can find that love so you need to look for it.
This morning I am sending love to you all. Please send it out to others so that we form a ripple of love going out into the world. Thank you.
Helping others is something I try to do. It can often be just a hug but hugs can mean a lot and do produce a response in the chemistry of the body making us feel better. I also try to be there for other when they need to talk. Sometimes talking to others about a problem can help you to see the problem more clearly and find a solution.
There are many other ways of helping others of course, most of which I am unable to do, such as offer to give someone a lift in your car to the shop or an event or you could offer to do some shopping for them.
Looking at this from the other side, as it were, I am often in need of help but being an independent type of person I am reluctant to ask for help. So if none is offered I try to manage on my own as best I can. For my trips to the art and craft club I use the volunteer car service (this is not free) and I am very grateful to those volunteer drivers.
There are times when I have to ask for help but I am always reluctant to do so. Is this because I don’t want to be refused? Or is it because I don’t want others to feel they have to help when they don’t really want to?
Asking for help and giving help can be a complicated situation but nowadays we seem to forget that help can be needed by others and are often reluctant to get involved. I have been lucky this week as I was offered a lift with the photography group to visit the bluebell woods. That gave me the opportunity to experience something I could not have done otherwise. The same friend also offered to fetch me a bag of compost for the garden. (If you read this Chris then many thanks again) This kind of help is important not just for me but for others who cannot get out to visit nature. Nature helps us so much enabling us to feel so much better.
I would love to read your thoughts on this topic.
The sun is shining and it is quite warm. It makes me feel so much better. This week I have watched a family of plump baby blackbirds learn to feed themselves getting worms out of the ground and now they have flown off to make new lives for themselves. As blackbirds have more than one brood I suspect the parents are now getting ready for the next brood.
I have also seen a pair of goldcrests which look as if they are nesting close by. They come into the garden several times a day. And there are many butterflies including some orange tipped ones.
There are also lots of other garden birds too and plenty of insects of various kinds. A question posed by my son yesterday has made me do some thinking. How do the butterflies know which plant to lay their eggs on. Some butterflies only lay their eggs on specific plants so how do they know they have the right plant? The more I look at the natural world around me the more I am amazed by it and the more I realise that I don’t know about it.
I’ve also seen quite a few bees which is good. I am trying to make my garden friendly for bees and other insects but it is going to be a long job as I am limited in how long I can work in the garden at one time. But at least I have the joy of sitting and watching what is going on in the garden and that makes me feel very blessed.