There are a lot of nasty clouds around at the moment some of them quite thundery so I hope they stay away while I write this blog post. For the first time for many years I went to a druid ceremony this afternoon. Those who know me well know that this time of the year can bring back lots of traumatic memories so I thought that going to a new grove would be good. I enjoyed the ceremony and also meeting new people who I am sure will become good friends. I hope to go to more of these ceremonies.
It has been a week of reflection also. It was suggested by some of my friends that I should write a book about my experiences of a spiritual nature. I thought about this for some time and after searching out old diaries and journals as well as photos and other writings I started on this. What memories are coming back. So much has happened over the last twenty years that I am sure a lot of it has been forgotten but it only needs one photo or diary entry for the memories to come flooding back. I have also asked others who have known me for some time or worked with me to see what they remember so they can jog my memory too. This brings me to the reflections. I find I am looking at some events in a totally different way now than I did many years ago. This also includes my reading material. Books I had long forgotten have resurfaced and are being read avidly again but with a much deeper perspective on what they contain.
I know I am the perpetual student forever wanting to learn more about things of an esoteric nature but I believe that you learn something new every day. That also applies to what I see out there on my walks and record on my camera. My black dog has gone for the moment and I am looking forward to the future. Thank you all for your wonderful comments and support. I think a photo of a butterfly is appropriate this week.
It is only in recent years that I have been visited by the black dog. I cannot remember it ever happening before about five years ago. I got very depressed at that time and wouldn’t go out or do anything. Counselling helped and I know how to deal with it. But recently it has happened more often and I am trying to find out why this is.
Up until about five or six years ago I was still very active and ran workshops and groups for various subjects. I have run a family history group for a very long time and that enabled me to meet others with similar interests. I also ran groups where we learned about colour, the tarot, numerology and other similar things.
Today I am much less mobile and have to use public transport to get anywhere and I do find this hard as buses never connect properly and you spend a lot of time waiting at bus stops. Every few months the bus companies change the timetables and this makes it even worse and also confusing. I do have projects on the go, for example, I am working with a group of other volunteers on a project with the local museum. I also have my own projects on family and local history to work on and possibly may start to run a family history group here where I live.
So plenty to do and a pond close by where I can walk every day at least once. But the black dog has been hanging around for some days now and visited me in a heavy manner the last few days. I do find it hard to live in confined spaces and I have heard others say they feel they are living in a cage and I suppose that is what it feels like at times. I like to feel space around me and lots of light and I have not had that anywhere I have lived in the last few years. That kind of home is hard to find. My mother used to tell me I should live in a field and I think maybe she was right!
But I am dealing with the black dog by making myself go out up to the pond and walk along the paths. I had company this morning, a local dog owner who has become a friend so that should make it easier now. If you get visits from the black dog, how do you deal with them?
As I now live in what is called a retirement village for the over 55’s I though I would write down my thoughts on this kind of living. This particular village is a complex of one and two bedroom flats. There are two annexes as well as the main building and I believe something like 285 flats in all. That is a large number and could mean around 400 people live in this complex. There is a shop open in the mornings for a couple of hours, a coffee bar open in the mornings for breakfast and a bar open in the evenings. These are run by people who live here. There is also a hairdressers, a charity shop, a games room, a computer suite, a laundry, as well as a small library. The corridors are wide and there are plenty of seats to sit on if you get tired walking somewhere. There are also two atriums where you can sit amongst the plants in comfort and entertain your friends. In the evenings and some afternoons there are quizzes, knit and natter groups, bingo and entertainment at the weekend. Various business people bring stalls at regular intervals so you can buy clothes, jewellery, handbags etc.
This means that you don’t actually have to leave the building at all and I suspect there are some that don’t. Does everyone get on together? Well, like any village there will always be those who complain about others and those who do not like where they live but in general everyone seems friendly.You can stay in your flat all day if you wish or you can go out on the bus to shop elsewhere and you can go for a walk in the small country park a few minutes walk away.
There are several thoughts that have crossed my mind about this kind of living. One is that it could be very easy to do nothing else except what is provided here. Would that make you an introverted person or perhaps dependent on what is provided here? Is this a good thing or not? For me it is fine as long as I can get out in the country park and to other places on the bus. I do wonder if my feelings will change if my mobility goes completely. Is it good to have people of this age range living together? If some residents have children and grandchildren and they visit then that keeps the family ties and the generations mingle together. I am lucky that I have found a few people here who also like the walk up to the pond and that is good. It is early days yet so more friends could be made in the future.
What are your thoughts on this type of housing complex for the over 55’s? Would you live in one when you get older? Are there better ways of living for the older person?
Many things that happen have repercussions most of which we don’t like or even expect. This last couple of weeks have brought about a large amount of repercussions after the tower block fire. I think that last week I said that misdoings were coming to light much sooner than before and that those who did the misdeeds would have to face up to what they had done.
The repercussions from the fire have shown how much our government and local councils really cared about us. They allowed buildings to be erected without the proper regulations to protect us. I generally keep politics out of my blog but this is enormous and has to be faced. Have you thought how people must feel if they live in a tower block or stay in a hotel or work in a hospital that does not have proper fire safety regulations adhered to during the building process and afterwards?
Any fire is traumatic when unexpected and this was a blaze not just a small fire. It has brought up anger as well as grief in those involved and it also is bringing up grief and anger which has been unresolved in others. But it is bringing to light the facts about the buildings too. Many people are scared to still be living in tower blocks in case there is a fire. It is going to take a long time to make people feel secure in their homes but it will also bring up many other unanswered questions about cuts to services and other things such as our health service.
Maybe it is awakening people to the fact that there are other ways of living where there is an equality and fairness in all dealings After such an event the local community come together to help each other but we should be helping each other all the time. How many more traumatic events do we need to wake everyone up to the fact that there is a better way to live?
We all managed during World War II and housing was found or built soon after the end of the war. What has changed in the last sixty years that we cannot find the way to deal with these events?
Even the Queen commented on the numbers of traumatic events which have occurred over the last few months and how people are coming together to help each other. Traumatic events often trigger a ‘spiritual awakening’ and people become aware of what life is really about. They also begin to see how they have been manipulated by those higher up and in charge. It is not easy to deal with all of this. Not only have they lost someone or a home but they also have to deal with their grief and anger.
One thing I have noticed over recent years is that any misdoing does not remain hidden for long. It soon surfaces and those who did the misdeed have to come forward and face those who were harmed. For many this means going to prison for their misdeeds. It also seems to me that more of us are working together to get changes even basic ones that help us to live better and safer. The truth always comes out so watch out for more and for more traumatic events.
But changing the subject so I end on something more positive, I spent half an hour or more this morning by the local pool which is less than five minutes walk away. It was peaceful, the birds were singing, a man was fishing and I saw damselflies and other insects. The grasses had very heavy seed heads and it was all so refreshing and replenishing for my soul which has felt the sadness and anger of the last weeks.
No questions to ask you this week. I am sure you can think of some yourself but enjoy the photo.
Over the years I have read an amazing number of books but some resonate more than others. I remember reading the Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing some twenty years after it was written.It had a big impact on me but what I remember most now is the ending where people lived in gated enclaves and gangs roamed the streets. I have since read all of Doris’s books. The second book to make a big impact was Armageddon’s Children by Terry Brooks. From what I remember the book was set in the year 2060 or 2070 and it showed a derelict planet, ruined by nuclear and other wars and some survivors living in high protected buildings and children hiding in ruins and scavenging for food.
I try to remember that these two books are fiction but the scenarios are nevertheless quite possible. I look at the world around me in towns and other places and see gated enclaves with huge steel security gates. I see small gangs on the streets threatening and bullying others There has not yet been a nuclear war but it gets ever closer as countries fight with each other, mainly over land and religion.
I play games on my computer but avoid those that have any kind of warfare. But I do know people who play these games and some of them seem to feel that the land in the game is the real land. I have often thought about our planet and wondered if this is real or are we living like puppets in a reality controlled by others. Scientists have proved that there are other realities so how do we find them and go to live in them if they are better than what we have now. Is what we see around us the real reality? Or is it a fantasy land we dwell in controlled by others? If this is our reality then how can we change it to make it better? How can we work to stop terror attacks? How can we help people to see that getting drunk and using drugs is not the way? I could go on for much longer here but I think I have said enough to provoke you into thinking about our world I’d love to read your comments on this.
It has been a strange week, interesting in many ways and hard work in others. I have started to move boxes into my new home and that has made things easier in some ways and harder in others. So this week has been a mixture of good things and bad things if you like. It was sad to say good-bye to a group of people I have been working with on family history but we will keep in touch. Maybe there is a new group around the corner once I have moved.
The events in Manchester have coloured all our lives especially as we are not that far away where I live and many people that I know go regularly to there. But fear is not the way forward and that is what our current government are trying to do, make us afraid and take away our liberty whatever they do or say. It is a well-known way of controlling the masses. But the way in which people work together after such a tragedy is always for the better. This is how it worked during the war years. People pulled together and shared worries and gave help to all who needed it. But we should not need attacks such as that this week in order to work together or help each other.It is something that should be an everyday part of our lives. But I am still amazed at the racist outpouring that I heard from some I thought were better than that.
On a good note, I have taken some of my blog posts over the last couple of years or so and made them into a book. Many people don’t want to scroll back and read previous posts so a book is easier for them. I have titled it ‘Words from the Heart’, because that is what these words are. They come from my heart and often from deep down. There is space after each one for you to write in your own thoughts. I will post a photo of the cover here at the end. It can be obtained via my web site (www.cerianwen.co.uk) or direct from lulu.com
The hot weather of recent days and the sunshine have brought the rose tree in my back yard into bloom. It is more like a wild rose but it does have a scent and together with the scent of yellow roses in someone else’s garden, it has enhanced the days. Nature is a wonderful thing.
My final random thought is this, peace and love will prevail if we allow it. Send out those thoughts into the world and love yourself too. Set an example for others and don’t let fear in or hate.
Well, I am on the move again this time to a flat/apartment in a retirement village where there is all you need, small shop, cafe, places to sit in the sun and lounge about, hairdresser, etc. It is a lovely place but where I will be living is smaller than where I am now so more items to dispose of. I have already found homes for some of the smaller items but I have larger items of furniture to go as well. This is good as I can hoard things like many of us do. Sometimes we hoard or keep things because they have an emotional link to the past or to someone we knew. So now is the time to let some of those items go.
It made me think about how we also hang on to feelings about events which may have occurred several years or even decades ago and how these feelings affect our current life So I am also looking at this aspect of clearing out and have already changed my perception of some feelings I had about events in the past. This feels so good. It is not good to hang on the feeling of anger when things go wrong as this can make you physically ill. I do think that as we look back at events in our lives we often look at them through rose tinted glasses until the reality finds it way in. So clearing out unwanted feelings about the past is a good thing.
But back to my new place now. Nearby within about a few minutes walk is a small country park with trees and a small pond. I shall be spending time there and hope it will inspire me to keep writing and maybe to do other things. I see this move as an opportunity to live somewhere where the care I might need is there when needed but I have my independence too. It might be a challenge to downsize but I am getting there.
Sorry about the cars in the photo but I love the shape of this tree.
I have got lots of ideas in my head about what to write about this week but where to start? One of the main things that got to me this week was the attitude of those who don’t vote because they say whatever happens won’t affect them. One local seat was lost by fifty votes and I wonder how much difference it would have made if those who did not vote had actually gone and voted. Many years ago only men who owned property could vote and then it became all men as long as they were employed. Eventually women were able to vote as well. We owe it to these ancestors to use our right to vote which they fought for.
Another thing that got to me this week is how brainwashed a lot of people are. They seem to think that what they read in the papers and hear on the television or radio is the truth. They are not able to discern fact from fiction. Our local paper had a wraparound cover the other day paid for by the Tory party. I found it rather offensive but then the newspaper is owned by a large firm who will do anything to get more money. The money that paid for this cover in many other newspapers too, could have gone towards our health service and helped many people.
I try to keep politics out of my writing but I want to see a fairer world where children do not go hungry, where education is good and free and where our health service is available to everyone. We should not be seeing homeless people on the streets or people having to use food banks. As a population we should be moving forward and looking towards a better, fairer future, not moving backwards to what life was like in the Victorian age and before. What went wrong I often ask myself. Where did we become complacent about our government and when did we stop believing that they had our interests at heart? How can we help others to learn to discern truth from lies and find out the best way to get things changed? I’m not sure it will happen in my lifetime but I hope it happens soon so our children and grandchildren have a decent future to look forward to.
Following on from the events of last week I have spent much time pondering how we react to such events. First of all we start to adapt what we do and how we do things. This is essential for survival of course. Often we find we have to compromise by doing different things that we had put on one side for a later time and then of course there is the finding of other ways of doing things.
But these thoughts also bring me to the way we lead our lives. I don’t personally know any one whose life has gone smoothly. We all seem to have times when there are hitches or delays or when we have to change our plans. This is life of course and how we deal with all the hitches and changes is what makes us unique because we don’t all work in the same way. What works for one person does not necessarily work for another.
Looking back at my life I can see many times when I have had to change course as it were. Unexpected events, unexpected results of exams and unexpected changes of jobs are just a few of these. In most cases I either adapted to the changes or found ways of dealing with them that took me in another direction. This of course explains my varied academic achievements from music to science! I have found my life to be a very long learning curve.
What has your life been like? How do you adapt to unforeseen changes or events? Do you compromise in difficult situations? Do you continue to learn each day?
My restrictions on walking this week took me to a tiny garden planted by the residents of that street and called the Jubilee Garden. It won awards over several years and was hard for me to find until the shrubs were pruned and I realised what it was, a little gem in the midst of houses. I might not have found this had my walking not been restricted.