Conflicting thoughts

This blog is about walking the druid path so how does this heading fit in with that. So a bit of life history here first, I think. I have always painted having taken Art at school in the 1950’s. Since then I have gone to a few art groups where there has been some kind of teaching but I have always painted how and what I like. I started with oils in the late 1960’s when I had a boyfriend who was an art student. He taught me a lot about technique and still inspires me with his current works.

My main paintings are landscapes, mostly of mountains, lakes, the sea and sunsets. The mountains for me are spiritual places and in my paintings there is much that the ordinary observer will not see. Nearly all of my paintings of landscapes have ways of drawing you in to the picture.

Over the last 3 years I turned to pastels and tried painting flowers, and birds but in the flower pictures there are fairies and angels hidden away for the sharp eye to find. This is almost psychic art.

But where do the conflicting thoughts come in? Well, I have been offered an exhibition at the end of this month and discussion with friends at the art group about my paintings bring up this conflict. I paint for me alone, my thoughts and feelings are in my paintings. They are not painted in order to be sold as I know some people do this. They are painted for me to look at, to share in exhibitions if necessary and sold if people would like them but mainly they are for me and they express my spiritual essence.

I have been asked about commissions as this could bring in money; that awful word. That is not the issue for me. But commissions well, again this is not for me. Last year I knitted a giraffe pyjama case for my son and then everybody wanted one. I think I knitted about 16 in all but the requests to knit them, put on the pressure and eventually took away the pleasure of the knitting. So I will not take any more orders or commissions.

It took me time over this last weekend to think all this out and decide exactly where I stood regarding my paintings. I think what really brought it home to me was a memory of a painting I did around 1973. It was of the Snowdonia mountains, in reds and purples and when I was painting it, a figure appeared in the sky. My current art tutor asked me what I was going to do with the figure. He advised me to either blot it out or make it stand out. I did the latter. This painting was named ‘Sanctuary’ and I refused to sell it. It meant a lot ot me as there was quite a bit of turmoil going on in my life and the mountains have always been a sanctuary for me.

However, in the 1980’s I had an exhibition in Beddgelert in Snowdonia and a woman came every day to look at this painting and wanted to buy it. I refused day after day until the last day of the exhibition, then I asked her why she wanted this particular painting so much. When she told what it meant to her than I reduced the price and sold it to her.

I feel this is where this blog stops. What do you think? Does my attitude reflect my spiritual druid path?

Here is an old photo of that painting.

7 thoughts on “Conflicting thoughts

  1. Hi Gladys,
    I can only suggest you follow your true heart 🙂

    If you have no problem letting go of some your pictures (which as you said are an expression of your spiritual essence – not your actual spiritual essence) but you feel you do not want to accept money then why not consider donating the money to a charity?

    If you are offered a commission then try to be strong…it is you who are providing the service that someone desires, so attempt to make it as comfortable and stress free as possible, with realistic time periods etc. so you don’t feel under pressure.

    Try to get to the roots of the conflict within you – ask yourself “What would it take to resolve the conflict?” A conflict is usually created by our reaction to something. We have a choice of how we react. We can choose to accept a situation (and see it as a opportunity to learn and develop), we can say “no”, or we can look for a compromise but following our heart to maintain our centre of stillness and happiness and balance is usually the best choice! 🙂

  2. Hi Gladys,

    Conflict is coming up for many and in the words of the Maya, it is said we are now in a time of change and conflict. The change is coming on the outside through weather conditions and solar flares, whilst the conflict on the inside it is coming up in the way of personal challenges. It is said we are at “the crossroads”, a time of finding a new path.

    Those who walk the spiritual path will be challenged with the conflict and balancing of service to self and service to others. Finding that balance is one of the most difficult lessons a soul has to learn, the polarity of service to self is known as the Dark and the polarity of service to others is known as the Light.This conflict arises for us to challenge the belief systems that “all spiritual work should be free” and “giving it away versus charging for it.” It is these beliefs that keep the conflict and monetary imbalance in place. When you said, money, that awful word, perhaps it might help to ask, “What are my beliefs around money?” and “Where have my beliefs come from?” “What am I resisting and what old thought forms and belief systems do I need to let go of?” “What are my beliefs about “no-thing” and “something?” and the polarity of integration.

    Through past newsletters I have spoken of having to release and let go of old thought forms, beliefs and limiting behaviour that keep us stuck and more than ever now, we need to be aware of energy and energy vibration. The money system we have at the moment is just that, an energy vibration. Therefore, all products and services that have any value at all (something) would be subject to an energy exchange.

    Perhaps you are being challenged now to look from a higher dimensional thinking view point at your thought forms and beliefs around spiritual work and money. From the higher perspective the conflict you are experiencing in your reality is providing you with a powerful clue about the error of the belief systems stated above. Just like an alarm, it is alerting you to the idea that maybe the above way of thinking is imbalanced.

    Hope this helps,
    Love and blessings,
    Linda x x x

  3. Thank you Linda. Actually I don’t have a problem selling the paintings, that is exchanging them for money. My point is that I don’t paint them solely to sell them but for my own pleasure. As Colin says they are an expression of my spiritual essence which is to me a very important thing. I shall stop here because I feel I am not making myself clear, I have had a hectic day and my thoughts are a bit haywire……

  4. Hi Gladys,
    I think what you’re expressing is perhaps what has been felt by artists throughout history. Your art comes from your soul – you’re not creating art in order to make a living – like a graphic artist working for an advertising firm for instance. If your art speaks to someone else and they want to buy it, then you’re sharing your vision with them. Who knows how your art may influence their own path? My son is an artist and he has expressed a similar dilemma. He creates art as a spiritual expression as well. My blog is a similar thing – I feel like I must write it and it comes from my soul. I wouldn’t mind if it ‘went somewhere’ and I love that people I don’t know read it…. but that’s not why I’m writing it. I think what we’re talking about is the essence of being a Bard.

  5. Thank you Abena, you put it so well and that is how I think about it. Yesterday I was so tired the words would not come out right but reading your comment shows that you understand what I was trying to say. My art does come from my soul and I am happy to share it with others but that is not why I do it. This blog post has been good I think for me and for those reading it and commenting on it. Thank you all for your comments.

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