Conflicting thoughts

This blog is about walking the druid path so how does this heading fit in with that. So a bit of life history here first, I think. I have always painted having taken Art at school in the 1950’s. Since then I have gone to a few art groups where there has been some kind of teaching but I have always painted how and what I like. I started with oils in the late 1960’s when I had a boyfriend who was an art student. He taught me a lot about technique and still inspires me with his current works.

My main paintings are landscapes, mostly of mountains, lakes, the sea and sunsets. The mountains for me are spiritual places and in my paintings there is much that the ordinary observer will not see. Nearly all of my paintings of landscapes have ways of drawing you in to the picture.

Over the last 3 years I turned to pastels and tried painting flowers, and birds but in the flower pictures there are fairies and angels hidden away for the sharp eye to find. This is almost psychic art.

But where do the conflicting thoughts come in? Well, I have been offered an exhibition at the end of this month and discussion with friends at the art group about my paintings bring up this conflict. I paint for me alone, my thoughts and feelings are in my paintings. They are not painted in order to be sold as I know some people do this. They are painted for me to look at, to share in exhibitions if necessary and sold if people would like them but mainly they are for me and they express my spiritual essence.

I have been asked about commissions as this could bring in money; that awful word. That is not the issue for me. But commissions well, again this is not for me. Last year I knitted a giraffe pyjama case for my son and then everybody wanted one. I think I knitted about 16 in all but the requests to knit them, put on the pressure and eventually took away the pleasure of the knitting. So I will not take any more orders or commissions.

It took me time over this last weekend to think all this out and decide exactly where I stood regarding my paintings. I think what really brought it home to me was a memory of a painting I did around 1973. It was of the Snowdonia mountains, in reds and purples and when I was painting it, a figure appeared in the sky. My current art tutor asked me what I was going to do with the figure. He advised me to either blot it out or make it stand out. I did the latter. This painting was named ‘Sanctuary’ and I refused to sell it. It meant a lot ot me as there was quite a bit of turmoil going on in my life and the mountains have always been a sanctuary for me.

However, in the 1980’s I had an exhibition in Beddgelert in Snowdonia and a woman came every day to look at this painting and wanted to buy it. I refused day after day until the last day of the exhibition, then I asked her why she wanted this particular painting so much. When she told what it meant to her than I reduced the price and sold it to her.

I feel this is where this blog stops. What do you think? Does my attitude reflect my spiritual druid path?

Here is an old photo of that painting.