There are many times in our lives when we upset other people. We may have been arguing about something and then words are said in the heat of the moment that cannot be taken back.How many times has that happened to you and what do you do next? How do you move on from this? There are many other times when we have to move on from events and when things go wrong. When your children grow up and leave home, you have to let them go and lead their own lives and you move on to doing other things with the time you now have spare. Even if you don’t see them or hear from them often, you always remember them and love them whatever way they have left, whether it is the normal way of growing up or after harsh words have been said.
We are often told to forgive and forget. I find it easy to forgive but much harder to forget and then of course it is harder to move on. I remember when I was younger and I fell out with my mother. We did not speak for several months until I needed help and then my father intervened saying life was too short to harbour grudges and then we had to move on. My mother and I made our peace but we never really forgot the reasons as to what had happened.
There are also times when you don’t know what was said or done but friends and family ignore you and lose contact. That is much harder as you do not know what caused the rift. But you do have to move on and trust that at some point all will be well in the lives of all concerned. I have found that generally after some reflection, I can move on. But then at certain times of the year, the loss of family and friends comes to the fore and you want to make amends and get together again. But it takes two to do this. I have a friend who has helped a family to come together after several years of no contact but it has happened now because the mother is very ill and my friend asked her if it was OK to contact her daughters and tell them about their mothers illness.But if we are meant to make contact again then it should not be when one or the other is at that stage in their life, although that is better than never having any contact again.
So moving on is important. You have your own life to live and you can’t spend it wondering what might have been. That is not good for anybody. So try to make peace if you can, but if not then move on and look after yourself and those still around you. Make the most of your life and enjoy it. If and when the time to make peace with those you have hurt, then do so and hug each other. A hug works wonders!
The weather this week has been stormy. Dark clouds rushing along in the sky and heavy rain showers. The leaves are being blown off the trees like magic carpets rushing along. But there are still many beautiful coloured leaves around and of course the weather is making the fungi grow.
But like the storm moving onwards, my thoughts have been doing just the same. I have been going deeper in Reiki seeing it more as a spiritual path than as a system of healing. I find myself drawn to the Buddhist aspect of this but know that Buddhism is not for me. I know others who manage to meld together various different spiritual paths and make it one of their own. In some ways I have done this, taking a lot of knowledge from the Native American paths and mixing it with druidry. Now I am adding the spiritual aspect of Reiki to the mix.
If you ask 100 druids what druidry is you will get 100 different answers and I feel this is the same with Reiki and other paths. We are all individual and we are all unique and therefore our spiritual paths are unique to us too. I find that I take from each path what I feel is right for me and then I have this mix of different beliefs and paths. Is this something that you do as well or do you follow a specific path?
I am also moving on into the darker months of the year as many of us are, when I feel I want to create more, to journal more and to be restful. Somewhere deep inside me, is the germ of another book but it has yet to grow big enough to do something about it. Maybe the darker nights will encourage it to grow. But life is a journey and it goes on every day bringing more experiences, more joy and often more sadness as you get older. I have reached an age where many of my friends have passed on. I have to dig deep and continue to do what I need to do and also what I want to do and progress even more on my path. Moving on is a continuous process. How do you feel about this process?
Living where I do in a complex of bungalows for old people, there are always many who pass on to the next world. Over the last couple of weeks there have been three of these plus a couple of others I know so a sad time for many.
Loss of a loved one is often very hard to deal with although life does go on in some form or other. You never forget the loved ones but your life does change. I am old enough to have lost both my parents and my husband so I do know how it feels. The hardest parts are the daily living when there is no one else there with you but you do get used to it although that feeling of being alone never goes away however much friends and other family are around.
But loss is not just about those passing over as we lose friends for unknown reasons. They may decide they don’t want to be friends any more and more on to other pastures. This can happen in partnerships too as one partner decides to move on and away from their partner of sometimes, many years. I’ve also been divorced and this form of loss is also when grieving is needed. We have to learn to cherish the good memories and let the bad ones go.
I try even now to take each day as it comes and I am trying very hard to be positive about each day and in turn, not exactly ignoring the bad stuff, but letting it go so only the good stuff stays in my mind. I am finding this a very useful way of ‘working’ and it is changing my outlook on life when the days are dark. I now see them as a short passage in a longer brighter time. This positive outlook is helping me with my mobility problems and I am starting to feel better about my life. There are still bad days as there always were but I am coping with them better. Remember the good things not the bad ones.