Mixed feelings

The restrictions on movement are beginning to take a toll on my mental health. For the first few weeks I decided to treat them as a retreat and did a lot of meditation and inner work. After that I decided to do more work on spiritual things and more Reiki going on to teach others as much as I could during this situation. I then took on other projects to keep me busy.

But what I miss most of all is the time out with friends, walking, talking and eating out. These have come to a full stop. I do get out with my son once a week and we go to nature reserves or areas where there is a lot of insect life as we both love insects of all kinds. One of the bonuses of being out with friends is the way the conversation stimulates. I have found a distinctive lack of creative ability recently and a lack of motivation to create. I have material, and thread, I have paints, pencils and sketch books but I don’t seem to have the motivation to create.

I have been reading lots of books on different subjects though and adding to my knowledge. However I really want to move house to somewhere with a few more adaptations which help me with my daily life like grab rails in various places and a walk in shower. These cannot be placed in my current home for various reasons so I have been trying to move things around to make life easier while I wait for more suitable accommodation. Falling over in the garden brings home how much help I do need although I am fiercely independent generally. I always have been and want to stay that way but I have to be sensible.

I found an article on pain this morning and how it is related to emotional states. I shall read this carefully and see if it helps. Although I have been told my pain is from the collective if that makes sense to you. Our world is in pain and many of its inhabitants are in pain so if I am carrying pain for the collective then I can see why I have so much pain. But is it that easy? However I shall carry on doing my best, staying hopeful and positive believing that there is a much better world ahead, maybe not in my lifetime but hopefully in yours.

When you feel down

I don’t normally write about myself as such because I write to inform, provoke thought or try to inspire. So this weeks blog is a bit different. My week has had an up and down feel to it with more downs than ups. So what do I do about the down parts? Mainly I try to get outside in the fresh air which generally gives me some energy back and I can get on with doing things I want to do. This does not always work though.

During the pandemic, things have gradually improved and we are able to go out but I don’t have a car so can only go where I can walk unless I use public transport which in my case is an 18-seater bus where social distancing would be quite difficult. I can’t share a car with someone else unless they are in my bubble. So I can go out with my son in his car as we are in what is termed a bubble, but he lives 40 miles away so visits once a week. That is good though and we went out earlier this week to a local nature reserve which I enjoyed. But this brings in another problem as my mobility is rather bad at the moment and walking even a short distance can be too painful. I have a mobility scooter but that won’t go in his car so if I use the scooter I am limited to local areas and the amount of time my hands will work on the controls.

I can sketch, paint, sew, knit, play the piano if I wish but these are all subject to the amount of pain in my hands. And I also have to feel motivated to do any of these things. One thing I have found that influences whether I feel down or not, is the weather. Today and several days this week, the sky is grey, cloudy and looking like rain. I shall feel much better when the sun comes out. I find the small things important, like seeing a butterfly or bee on a flower or watching the young birds squabble over the food on the bird table or in the feeders. These little things can help to brighten the day.

So I feel sympathy with those in similar situations and try to help others with my words when I can. So if you are like me and reading this please know that you are not alone. Let us look forward to a new world where we will have the help we need to enable us to fulfil our lives in a better way.


Hope is a word we use a lot. ‘I hope you are well’ or ‘I hope you get what you want’ are two examples. There are many more as I am sure you well know. But what do we mean by ‘hope’?

Generally in the cases above it is a feeling of expectation or a desire for something to happen. In some cases it is merely wishful thinking meaning ‘I’d like you to be well’ or ‘Id like you to get what you want’.

But hope can be seen as a capability to motivate ourselves and others in order to reach goals that we want but these have to be realistic of course. So many of us hope for things to happen that are definitely not realistic or to have things that we are never going to have.

However hope is important and can help people to get better when they are ill. If they believe they can get better then hope will help them to do so. If you are hopeful then you are also optimistic. Hope gives us the ability to see possible good in the future. Hope can make you feel positive and can improve your health. Hope creates self worth and gives you the strength to keep going. Hope gives you motivation which enables you to do things you had not known you could do.

Hope allows you to approach problems with your mind set on success. If you have hope, you can face the most negative times in your life with positivity. Hope therefore improves your mental health. Hope allows you to see opportunities in challenges; we often say ‘Look on the bright side’.

Here is a quote from Emily Dickinson ‘Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul — and sings the tunes without the words — and never stops at all.’ And one final quote, author unknown, ‘Hope is the dream of a soul awake’.