Expectations

Yesterday a post on social media caught my eye. It said something about expectations; ‘Don’t expect anything in life. Expectations hurt a lot. When you don’t expect, every moment is a surprise and surprises bring happiness.’ So is this true? Some years ago I wrote about expectation in this blog and I am reposting an edited version here.

Some time ago I saw some words which resonated with me in a big way. The words were ‘The expectations of others were
the bars I used for my own cage’ We all expect things of others but how much should this affect our lives. As a child my
mother had great expectations of me. I was expected to do well at the things she missed out on like going to the grammar
school then on to university, etc. Unfortunately I did not go to university straight after school as I was unable to take the A level subjects I wanted to do. So I left school and got a job. For the rest of my life I had to endure my mother complaining that I had not done what I should have done with my life and that I had let her down.

Luckily for me I was strong enough to find my own way in life and do what I wished to do so my life was mine and I was not
living the life she had wanted for herself. How much do others expectations affect our lives? Do we do what others want us to
do to keep the peace? Or do we strike out on our own? How many people do you know who live their lives according to the
wishes of others but are not happy? What is most important, to be ourselves or to be the person other people would like us to
be? I have always tried to be true to myself, to follow my heart and to do what I feel is most important to me. This did and still
does not go down well with some people I know. I remember saying to my children when they were in their early teens that it was not a crime to be different. They did not have to do what everyone else did if they did not want to.

So here I am, eighty in a couple of months, writing blogs and researching local and family history, creating wall hangings and other art work and being just who I want to be without interference from others. Is this wrong?

A final note; I have been out visiting a fairly local nature reserve the last couple of weeks. It is over a year since I last went there and was unsure what to expect. (That word expect again!) But I kept an open mind and knowing that spring was on the way I knew that there would be things to see. I was not disappointed and saw more than I thought I would.

Expectations

It is said that you should treat others in the way you want to be treated. This is easier said than done at times but many things are easy to do. You can say ‘Thank you’ when someone helps or advises you or holds the door open for you. You can do the same for others especially holding the door open. I struggle with doors as I use a crutch and often have a shopping basket on wheels so someone holding the door for me is very welcome but many times I have seen or even felt the door being left to swing back into me.

You can also help those who are vulnerable, maybe by helping someone to cross the road. I am sure you can think of many ways to do this. I like to think that I do these things and I try not to expect anything in return but a ‘Thank you’ would be nice to hear.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people around who do not do these things which I find really sad. I have often been told that I expect too much from my friends and others so now even though  I find it easy to help others I find it difficult to ask for help and to accept it as well. I live on my own so often I need help around the house but I tend to try to do these things myself. When I have asked for help in the past I have watched the faces of those I asked and I can see whether they really are willing to help or are going to make excuses.

But expectations can go much deeper with those for whom you care deeply and love. If they do not offer help when needed you can feel deeply hurt but can you still care for them in the same way?

So what do I expect from my friends? I expect to share times of joy and laughter. I expect to share times of sadness and to be supported during bad times. I expect offers of help even though I haven’t asked for help and most of all I expect lots of hugs. What are your expectations?

Expectations

Earlier this week I saw some words which resonated with me in a big way. The words were ‘The expectations of others were the bars I used for my own cage’  We all expect things of others but how much should this affect our lives. As a child my mother had great expectations of me. I was expected to do well at the things she missed out on like going to the grammar school then on to university, etc. Unfortunately I did not go to university straight after school  as I was unable to take the  A level the subjects I wanted to do. So I left school and got a job. For the rest of my life I had to endure my mother complaining that I had not done what I should have done with my life and that I had let her down.

Luckily for me I was strong enough to find my own way in life and do what I wished to do so my life was mine and I was not living the life she had wanted for herself.  How much do others expectations affect our lives? Do we do what others want us to do to keep the peace? Or do we strike out on our own? How many people do you know who live their lives according to the wishes of others but are not happy? What is most important, to be ourselves or to be the person other people would like us to be? I have always tried to be true to myself, to follow my heart and to do what I feel is most important to me. This did and still does not go down with some people I know. I remember saying to my children when they were in their early teens that it was not a crime to be different. They did not have to do what everyone else did if they did not want to.

So here I am in my seventies, writing a blog and researching local and family history, creating wall hangings and other art work and being just who I want to be without interference from others. Is this wrong?

Expectations

It is Midsummer and we have had the longest day now. The days will get shorter and the nights longer. But it does not feel like the middle of the summer. We still seem to be in the spring time. We expect hot days and lots of sunshine during the summer but this has not happened yet here. What other things do we expect in our lives?

I am often told that my expectations are too high. But if we don’t have high expectations what will happen? Expecting someone to do something well, encourages them to do well. If you expect them to fail then you are putting the thought of failure in their minds so they do fail.

Is it wrong to expect our water to be clean, our food to be healthy and uncontaminated, our clothes and houses to be well made?

Is it wrong to expect our politicians to be truthful and care about those who vote them into their position of authority? If we are honest, caring, compassionate and loving, is it wrong to expect others to be the same? There is a lot to think about on this topic. Going with the flow is good but should that stop us from expecting better things? Does going with the flow allow things to happen that are not good for us? Are there times when we have to make our expectations known to those in power so that the flow becomes better and smoother?

My photo this week is taken at a local stream. On that day, the mother moorhen had climbed up the steps and on to the top of the weir. Her 3 babies could not get out of the stream and join her. They were still trying when I left. Did the mother expect too much from her babies?