Dealing with the Black Dog

It is only in recent years that I have been visited by the black dog. I cannot remember it ever happening before about  five years ago. I got very depressed at that time and wouldn’t go out or do anything. Counselling helped and I know how to deal with it. But recently it has happened more often and I am trying to find out why this is.

Up until about five or six years ago I was still very active and ran workshops and groups for various subjects. I have run a family history group for a very long time and that enabled me to meet others with similar interests. I also ran groups where we learned about colour, the tarot, numerology and other similar things.

Today I am much less mobile and have to use public transport to get anywhere and I do find this hard as buses never connect properly and you spend a lot of time waiting at bus stops. Every few months the bus companies change the timetables and this makes it even worse and also confusing. I do have projects on the go, for example, I am working with a group of other volunteers on a project with the local museum. I also have my own projects on family and local history to work on and possibly may start to run a family history group here where I live.

So plenty to do and a pond close by where I can walk every day at least once. But the black dog has been hanging around for some days now and visited me in a heavy manner the last few days. I do find it hard to live in confined spaces and I have heard others say they feel they are living in a cage and I suppose that is what it feels like at times. I like to feel space around me and lots of light and I have not had that anywhere I have lived in the last few years. That kind of home is hard to find. My mother used to tell me I should live in a field and I think maybe she was right!

But I am dealing with the black dog by making myself go out up to the pond and walk along the paths. I had company this morning, a local dog owner who has become a friend so that should make it easier now. If you get visits from the black dog, how do you deal with them?

 

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Emerging from the dark

This week has been quite strange but very uplifting in many ways. I don’t know what started it but the hour I spent in the park reading the script of a book I had written some time ago seems to be the beginning of the move out of the darkness that has been around me for some months now. On Wednesday I had a hospital visit for a clinic about preventing falls. This was very good and for once I felt that I was of importance to the medical profession and that they wanted to help me This made me feel much more positive about the future.

On Friday a friend came over and we chatted and did some odds and ends with which I needed some help. We also read the cards and some of the poetry I wrote ages ago. That evening I sat down and suddenly found myself writing poetry again after at least 12 months of stagnation. This was wonderful and I am now seeing my way out of the darkness. Not quite out yet but nearly there.

Do you ever have times like these? It is a bit like a rebirth or the phoenix rising from the ashes. Whatever you want to call it, it feels good! Please share any experiences you have of this kind.

inthewoods