Closure

There are many words in the English language that have added to or changed their meanings over the years. Closure is one of those words. It meant and still means the closure of coal mines and department stores for example. But it has now got another meaning, closure after an unpleasant time or experience. I suppose it still means the act or process of closing something even with its extra definition.

So closure is the feeling or act of bringing an unpleasant time or experience to an end so that you can start again. Closure could refer then to ending one job which was not pleasant and starting a new job. Once you got into the new job you could forget about all the bad bits of the previous job. But is it that easy?

What about separation or divorce? How easy is it to start again and forget the bad bits? If children are involved then this can make it even harder to let go of the past and move on. Letting go of the pain is hard but it needs to be done if you want to move on. You can make a conscious decision to let the pain and anger go but if this doesn’t work you can try to express your pain and anger. You can write letters to the other person but not send them. Instead you can burn them with the intent that the pain and anger has gone so you can move forward again.

You also need to ‘be’ in the present. Focus on what you are doing now and enjoy your life as it happens. The final thing you have to do is to forgive the other person and that is possibly the hardest bit of all. But if you keep the pain and anger inside you, it will make you ill later on.

But how do you have closure when someone dear to you dies? Our emotions at that time run deep and as the grieving process takes its course we think of closure. Personally I find that with a death of a loved one, there is never what you could call a proper closure. We learn to live with the fact that our loved ones are no longer with us. Our love does not die so we have to learn to accept that they are no longer here but closure, I don’t think so. You can move on and even find another partner but your life has changed from what it was before the death occurred so you look at everything and everybody through different eyes. Also grieving can take several years as you adjust to the fact that your loved one has gone.

Is closure something that we deal with and achieve, or is it a myth?

Dealing with anger and hate

It is such a beautiful morning here in the UK. It was like this yesterday as well and I have always hoped that days like this make people feel happy and balanced. Not so. Recently I have felt anger around me, in shops, on the bus and in the town. It is like a huge volcano waiting to erupt. This feeling has been simmering for a long time. I first felt it a couple of years ago and have watched it grow and grow until it will soon erupt. But how will this anger erupt? Will there be strikes, violence, fighting or other things?

Some of this anger and hate seems to be erupting on social media. I have always tried to keep the peace and have often posted on social media trying to calm things down. This no longer works. I only hope that the anger is because people are waking up to the injustices of our world and not for other reasons. But much of what I see and hear is directed at people of other colours and this is so wrong. We have allowed the media to brainwash people into thinking they are the only ones of importance and that any one else is not worth thinking about.

But as I wrote in a previous blog post we are all connected spiritually and genetically, in Europe at least. Where have things gone wrong? How have we come to the point where only the rich matter, where those who are less well off are at the bottom of the ladder where health and a living wage are concerned. The gap between the rich and the poor is widening and we seem unable to stop this. Is this why people are angry? Hate is of course rising again like it did in the 1930s. We should be looking at the similarities between us not the differences. How can we help these people to release anger safely and to change from hate to love?

We have a beautiful world, let’s enjoy it in safety and in peace. Let anger wash over you and fade away, let hatred be changed to love. Let the sun warm your heart and mind and open it to the real potential that we all have, to find peace within us and in the world. It is time to live in harmony.

Forgiveness

Sitting in a coffee bar last week I overheard a conversation. A woman had been waiting for her friend to arrive and when the friend arrived she said she was sorry she was late but the traffic was bad. The woman who had been waiting said that she forgave the other woman this time. So how easy is it to forgive? And what do we mean by forgiveness? A dictionary will say it is about letting go of anger towards someone who has hurt you in some way. How do you define forgiveness?

In some countries, people who are due to be executed because they have murdered someone can be let off if the victim’s family forgive them. In this country there are schemes for a victim and the perpetrator to come together and talk and also forgive each other.

Should we be more forgiving? And should we let crimes of many years ago be forgiven too?

If someone hurts you in some way and you are angry, this anger will eventually eat away at you and affect your health. This is surely a good enough reason to work with someone who has hurt you and forgive them. As a Reiki Master Teacher I have worked with many people about their anger and about forgiving others. You cannot move on unless you forgive. We are all spirit in a human body living a human style life but we must learn to be more perceptive of what we do to others and be prepared to forgive what they do to us.

Are there things that happen or have happened to you, or to others that you could never forgive?