There are many times in my life when I have felt guilty, sometimes for doing something I should not have done and at other times for not doing something when I could have done. Nowadays I tend to feel guilty for not doing things I should have done like help someone else with something but declining to help. Yesterday a friend here fell in the street and said that for some time no-one came to help her to get up but eventually someone did do just that. Would you pass someone in the street who had fallen and needed help to get up? I hope you would help. I would if I could do so but with my own physical problems it could be difficult and I would feel guilty about it.
A few weeks ago I helped to rescue a bat here in my housing complex but it took several days before I found someone to help and that only happened when I made a huge fuss on social media. Luckily the bat survived and has now been released but I would have felt very guilty if it had died as I feel I could have made more fuss earlier.
I sometimes feel guilty when I have to ask people for help and that means taking them away from doing something that is important to them. But should I feel guilty asking for help? I know people who take pride in making others feel guilty too by using words such as why didn’t you help or what did you think you were doing. They often turn the story around so the blame lies with you and you feel guilty. This is known as gaslighting and looking back at my life I can see that that kind of thing happened a lot especially with my mother.
So how do we deal with feelings of guilt? Each person will have a different way. I tend to look at why I feel guilty and acknowledge that feeling and also try not to do the same again. But it is often not that easy and maybe dealing with it is a subject for another blog post.