But words can never hurt me?

The title above is taken from the saying ‘sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me’. When I was a child and fell out with a friend or one of them was nasty to me, I remember all I got from my mother was that saying, and I was sent back out to play. But words do hurt and in some cases hurt so much that they drive a person to suicide.

Children can be very nasty to each other. Before the days of mobile phones, it was talking behind you back and name calling as you went by. Some parents were also guilty of saying things that hurt like ‘you’re useless’. If you are repeatedly told that you are useless, ugly or fat, then you start to believe that and think that way about yourself. This can last for many years as the hurtful words are remembered every day and they can build up into depression or hiding away from people so they don’t hurt you.

As a baby I had a mole or some kind of growth removed from my face. This left a brownish ridged scar. I got asked lots of questions about it and one teacher even complained my face was dirty in front of the whole class and sent me out to wash my face. My mother had to intervene and explain why my face looked dirty. Over the years I mainly forgot about the scar although as a teenager and persuaded by my mother I tried to cover it with make up. Not a good idea. However I have lived with it for over 70 years now and although my mother asked me before she died why I hadn’t done anything about it as it could have been made less conspicuous I didn’t really want to know.

Words do hurt and can continue to hurt for a long time. Words said in anger often hurt the worst and then it is harder to forget them. Some people never forget those hurtful words, whatever they are and the hurt gnaws away at their insides, making them ill. From my work with Reiki I understand how these hurts work in the body and how we carry them around like baggage. If we want to lead a good healthy life then we have to deal with that baggage and that can be very hard to do. Dealing with all those hurts means that you have to forgive those who said or did the hurts. This is where many come unstuck with dealing with their baggage. I don’t want to go into how to deal with the baggage here so I will finish by just saying ‘Words do hurt’ Think before you speak or as someone once said to me ‘engage brain before opening mouth’.

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