It has been an interesting few weeks since I decided to take some time out from my busy world and just look after me and just be me, if that makes sense. Much of this time was spent at home, resting, watching the birds and butterflies in the garden and doing as little as possible. Yet I still felt tired and had no mojo, no inclination to do any creative work.
So I listened to music especially that of Einaudi, a minimalist composer who has written a lot of piano music. I found this very soothing and restful and there was a little thought that maybe I could compose music like that. But I just sat there and listened and meditated and did nothing else that did not have to be done.
This last week I spent three days on a retreat at a nearby retreat centre. It is owned and run by the Church of England but all are welcome and there is no pressure. I have been going there now for some years and have always enjoyed it and benefited from my stay there. The food is good and at regular intervals and the gardens and woodland as well as the surrounding landscape are beautiful and peaceful. There is no phone signal although there is now wi-fi and internet access in all areas.
I spent a lot of time sitting by the pond waiting for the dragonflies to appear. I did see them but getting photos was hard to do. However the robin and the squirrel posed beautifully for me. I walked in the woods and explored the labyrinth in the grounds behind a walled garden. The labyrinth was not at its best as the meadow in which it is situated had been mown and the grass and wild flowers were hiding the path around it. But it was good to sit up there looking out over the countryside and enjoying the peace of it all. But my mojo returned and one day I wrote several poems, something I have not done for some time. I also ate far too much but returned home feeling much better and ready to do things of a creative nature after catching up with all the other stuff.
But coming home can be quite hard. In many ways I am lucky to live alone so I can take my time assimilating myself back into our chaotic world. Others do not get the same privilege if they have family. I am also now being able to stand back from the chaos and look at the wider picture. I am able to watch the ‘dark’ elements of our world come to the front so that we awaken more to what can be and are able to give out more light. There is hope but the future might not be what we expect.
The photo is taken from the bottom of the woodland looking out at the Abbey where I stayed.