Friendship today

Has social media changed our ideas of friendship I wonder? You can click on a button and be friends with someone you have possibly never met. So why do we do this? For me being friends with someone means that we have things in common, we share things and we respect each others opinions even if we disagree. We also trust each other and when things go wrong we are there for each other to support and help out.

But I feel that we have different types of friends, we have close friends, friends we share hobbies with or go out with, and friends that I would really call acquaintances, that is, those who we may meet on the street and exchange comments about the weather or whatever but not people we really know. But is friendship a two way relationship? Or does one friend do all the giving and the other one do all the taking? Is this friendship?

Do we have to work at friendship, trying to keep the relationship going when things get rough and we feel out of our depth? If you haven’t heard from a friend for some time, do you pick up the phone ad ring them or do you wait until it is too late to do something? Are you the friend who always phones or writes letters or sends messages? Or do you and your friend phone, message and text each other in equal measure?

How do you value your friendships? There is so much to discuss here that I am now leaving it up to you to think about it and send me your comments. Reading my words this morning I see I have asked rather a lot of questions. The person sitting on the bench in my photo is a sculpture!



4 thoughts on “Friendship today

  1. I need to cultivate a friendship with myself first. I’m naturally inclined to give but I’ve started taking stock of the returns. For me, friendships are based on mutual respect and not so much in commonality. Without that foundation, conversations are simply an exchange of information. My objective from this point is to end conversations when the respect is missing.

  2. As an older person, I have seen how friendship has changed in our society over the decades.While we always think that easier, more convenient communication will make friendship better, I think it has had the opposite effect. People were once friends with their neighbours and co-workers, because they saw them often. Phoning long distance was expensive, and mostly reserved for close relatives. Having reasonably close friendships with the people one saw every day, and lived near, meant that people were able to help each other out when they needed childcare, a lift to the doctor or help eating up the extra lasagne. We developed “things in common” with our neighbours and co-workers because we spent time together.

    Now, we filter our friends by common hobbies, politics, religion or age. We stay in touch at the touch of a button with people all over the world, but we think we’re too busy to do more than text or tweet with our “friends”. We don’t make much effort to get along with our neighbours and co-workers, and we have never been lonelier. When we’re in trouble, the people around us don’t know our backstory, so there is little trust.

    • So right Kris. I am an older person too and live alone. I make a point of getting to know my neighbours and have been lucky with this as they also wish to get to know me.

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