Earlier this week I saw some words which resonated with me in a big way. The words were ‘The expectations of others were the bars I used for my own cage’  We all expect things of others but how much should this affect our lives. As a child my mother had great expectations of me. I was expected to do well at the things she missed out on like going to the grammar school then on to university, etc. Unfortunately I did not go to university straight after school  as I was unable to take the  A level the subjects I wanted to do. So I left school and got a job. For the rest of my life I had to endure my mother complaining that I had not done what I should have done with my life and that I had let her down.

Luckily for me I was strong enough to find my own way in life and do what I wished to do so my life was mine and I was not living the life she had wanted for herself.  How much do others expectations affect our lives? Do we do what others want us to do to keep the peace? Or do we strike out on our own? How many people do you know who live their lives according to the wishes of others but are not happy? What is most important, to be ourselves or to be the person other people would like us to be? I have always tried to be true to myself, to follow my heart and to do what I feel is most important to me. This did and still does not go down with some people I know. I remember saying to my children when they were in their early teens that it was not a crime to be different. They did not have to do what everyone else did if they did not want to.

So here I am in my seventies, writing a blog and researching local and family history, creating wall hangings and other art work and being just who I want to be without interference from others. Is this wrong?


3 thoughts on “Expectations

  1. Yes, it took a long time for me to get out from that cage. It was not malicious, just my parents wanting to me to to make the best of the opportunties they didn’t have. But we can only live our own lives. Blessings x

  2. Your own expectations can be a cage too. I did go to university, with lukewarm support from my parents, and did a lot better than they expected. I had big ambitions, but real life got in the way. It turns out that I ended up a lot better off than if I had realized those ambitions. It took a long time to understand this.

  3. I’ve noticed that, all too often, people who try and impose their expectations, will simply change their expectations if it looks like you could meet them. It’s a game set up to be unwinnable. People who accept you as you are, are a much better bet. People who support your successes rather than asking you to live out their failed dreams for them – and if you live them out, they resent you for it, I have also noticed.

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